


warm me up and breath me

by tobewritten



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A lot of feels, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Multi, One Shot, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 11:05:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15862356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobewritten/pseuds/tobewritten
Summary: Director Sanvers one-shots.Prompt fics wherever I find them, so feel free to send in requests!





	1. "you look like an open autopsy"

**Author's Note:**

> a little angsty? my hands slipped. heh.

“You look like an open autopsy.” Maggie’s voice cracked as she knelt beside Lucy.

Her hands were shaking as she reached down to push the hair out of Lucy’s face. She gently pulled Lucy’s head onto her lap; fingers trembling as she checked for her pulse.

“Still look cute, though,” Lucy coughed out.

Her hand reached up slowly and Maggie grasped it tightly in her free hand. Maggie choked on a sob as her eyes scan Lucy’s body for any other major injuries. She deliberately ignored the gaping wounds littering her torso, slashed open by large surgical cuts.

“Hold on, okay? Alex’s on her way,”

Lucy coughed, blood spilling out her mouth and Maggie clenched her hand tighter. A few tears dripped down her face, splashing onto Lucy’s cheek and Lucy grimaced.

“Do-don’t cr-cry,”

“I’m sorry,” Maggie’s voice was strained from trying to hold back her tears. She’s bent over Lucy’s body as a painful sob escaped her lips.

“Shh. It’s okay,” Lucy whispered. She took a couple gasped for air and Maggie reeled in her tears.

The door to their room bust opened and Maggie’s reaction was still quick in pointing the gun up to the intruder.

“It’s me,” Alex breathed out, dropping down her own weapon.

Maggie looked up and a whole set of tears flooded her eyes and spilled over. Alex gestured the medic to hurry as she rushed to her girlfriends.

“I got you, I got you. You’re safe now,” Alex whispered, pulling Maggie into her arms and giving the medics space to work on Lucy.

Maggie let out a heart-wrenching scream as they carried Lucy’s body away from her, and Alex winced at the raw pain leaving her lips.

“She’s okay. She’s okay. We got her. I got you,”

Alex hoisted Maggie into her arms - an arm under her knees and another under the neck, as she stood up to evacuate the area.

“You’re safe now, I promise,” Alex continued whispering as Maggie clutched her bullet vest tightly and burying her face into Alex’s body.

The wreckage of the Cadmus facilities remained in tattered as Alex navigate her way out of the building. She stepped over dead bodies one after another while keeping her hold on Maggie and making sure the girl in her arms doesn’t fall out of consciousness.

J’onn landed next to her, nodding at Alex before gesturing towards the detective.

“Take her and Lucy straight to the DEO -”

“You’re not thinking what you’re thinking are you,”

“You know exactly what I’m thinking,” Alex retorted back as she passed Maggie into J’onn arms.

J’onn clenched his jaw before nodding his head once more.

“You’re in charge of clearing this place up. Retrieve every information and then torch this place,”

“Yes, Sir,” 


	2. i need to be the one who takes you home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It is difficult when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major angst. Be prepared.

Standing outside the operating room, Kara was hit with the jarring reality that while she is reunited with her family in Argo City, she’s losing her home on Earth.

-

Though Alex’s bed is surrounded, it is a shame that her final sight before unconsciousness would be fire and red and a deafening explosion that swallowed her entire body whole. It was almost peaceful - the only movement comprises of her chest rising and falling. The machines hooking up to keep her alive beeped in the hospital ward - the only sound that’s somewhat coming from her.

Maggie counted the interval between every breath, counting the beat of her heart per minute as she pressed her fingers to the inside of Alex’s wrist. She synced her own breath to that of Alex, eyes watering every so often as she’s reminded of the situation they were in.

Lucy sat on Alex’s other side, clutching the other hand and laying her head on the bed. She twirled their fingers and release them - realizing the hands that once kept her warm is cold. too cold. Lucy’s fingers twitch and she grasped Alex’s hand again. A soundless mumble leaving her mouth as she drifts in and out of sleep.

Lena sat at the corner - on a cot that the nurses had brought in to make them more comfortable. Her head rests on Sam’s shoulder as her eyes flicked over to Alex again and again. Her own mind was quiet as she tried to sort out her emotions through it all. Because she and Alex were never close until they had worked together to help Sam - to get rid of Reign. and ever since Kara went for an impromptu sabbatical, Alex had taken Lena under her wings and kept both her and Sam company as if they’d been friends for years.

Ruby pulled her mom’s arms tighter across her shoulders, snuggling deeper into Sam’s embrace as if the physical touch alone can stop the pieces from breaking as she watches Alex with the knowledge that Death is so very very close. Sam pressed a kiss on her forehead, a reassuring comfort for both of them as they mulled over the fact that the woman that had played a major role in saving the Arias Family is now in need of dire saving.

Eliza entered the room with J’onn in tow; hands occupied with bags of lunch for the people in the room. She got a soft thanks in appreciation from everyone but no one dares to talk any louder. Eliza fell on the seat beside Maggie, rubbing the detective’s shoulder and pushing her to eat. From the corner of her eyes, she sees J’onn doing the same thing to Lucy.

The eldest Danvers looked around the room, heartbreaking slowly but surely as she takes it all in.

She wonders if Alex knew she was loved.

Because she was. so so very much.

Eliza stood up, rounding until she was by the head of the bed as she pressed a long kiss on Alex’s forehead. water flooded her eyes as she pushed Alex's hair out of her face. she pressed her forehead with Alex's, breathing her in, feeling her daughter’s soft skin and desperately finding the reassurance that she’ll make it out of this alive.

sobs broke out of her mouth.

everyone pretended not to notice it.

even as their own eyes watered.

-

Kara leaned against the door to Alex’s ward. she slid down the wall till she’s sitting on the floor with knees against her chest. She buried her head in her hands as her own sobs cracked her apart.

Alura pulled her into a hug.

Kara wished Alex could give her a hug.

The last time they hugged was before Kara had left for Argo City.

Everyone was too caught up with the dark Kryptonian and the ending of the world and kara wished she had just taken one step back to give her sister a hug before they split to fight their respective battles.

but she hadn’t.

and it’s the fact that she hadn’t seen her sister in so long - no way to transmit casual signals from space to earth without creating a massive signal in the satellites. They hadn’t wanted to alert government officials around the world that they’re just two sisters trying to recreate skype on a bigger scale so they had kept the communications to a minimum.

it hadn’t been like when Alex had left for college. They didn’t get to skype every night Kara was away, didn’t get to be caught up in each other lives.

until the Dark Kryptonians came to earth.

it felt like it’s been a long time since Kara had actually talked to Alex outside of aliens and invasions.

and yet, their last conversation had been tactical and professional.

Kara wonders how she can forget to remind Alex that she loves her before they went for battle.

and now...

now it might be a little too late.

-

When the Dark Kryptonian battle came to earth, they came in with soldiers disguised as humans with the notion of taking over Earth inside out.

and with news of Alex successfully defeating two Dark Kryptonians at once at the DEO, with a prior history of killing an actual Kryptonian General; they came for her with a vengeance.

Alex was barely able to withstand the fight against that many Kryptonians and Kara, on the other side of town, was oblivious as she fought to save planet Earth.

and just like every alien invasion and apocalypse in National City, Kara saved the world.

the relief and excitement of saving the world drop away when Lucy called.

They found Alex under rubbles of a collapsed building.

and when Lucy closed her eyes, she can see the blood, the open wounds, the bones sticking out and the weird shape Alex’s body shouldn’t have been in. She sees the stuttering of Alex’s breath, the gasping for air, the rolling of the eyes into the back of her head. She sees the unresponsive body giving up in front of her as they rushed her to the nearest standing hospital.

deep down, she knew Alex’s survival rate before the doctor came in with his prognosis.

-

Alex’s eyes opened and a smile graced her chapped lips as her eyes flicked from one person in the room to another. Everyone was asleep in various position and Alex’s heart warmed.

Alex pulled off the oxygen mask to the side, clutching on whoever hand was in hers. She looked up to find both her mom and sister looking down at her.

“I love you,” Alex croaked.

Eliza barely said anything as tears fell down willingly. Kara’s fingers clutched Alex's tighter.

“it’s my time to go,” Alex whispered.

Kara barely holds back her sobs as she cries in the crook of Alex’s neck.

“Take care of each other. Take care of you-yourself,”

Alex takes another deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.

Kara’s sobs became louder and she could hear the rest of the people in the room stirring.

“I love you, Alex. Please don’t go,”

and Alex wished she could hold her sister and reassure her but she knows she can’t lie about this. she can feel it in her body, feel it in her senses as everything starts to turn black.

“I love you,” Alex mouthed before taking another breath.

before taking her last breath.


	3. books. coffee. conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The room was basked in the evening glow of the setting sun, filtering through the white curtains and shining down on the occupant in the room. The soft, golden rays color the room into a tranquil peacefulness, and with Tracy Chapman’s voice playing in the background, it sets the mood perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a fluff piece. (i promise)

The room was basked in the evening glow of the setting sun, filtering through the white curtains and shining down on the occupant in the room. The soft, golden rays color the room into a tranquil peacefulness, and with Tracy Chapman’s voice playing in the background, it sets the mood perfectly.

Lucy flipped the page of the book she was reading, glasses perched on her nose as she took a sip of her coffee. She settles back into the couch, letting her shoulders relax and the tension to unwind.

A soft patter of footsteps could be heard and Lucy smiled softly, waited until there was a knock on the door.

“Umi?” her daughter’s voice was heard from behind the door.

Lucy made a hum to acknowledge the girl’s presence. The door opened and shut again with a quiet click. Footsteps became louder until Lucy could feel Aisyah’s body right behind her.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“May I join you?” the seventeen-year-old girl asked, waving her own novel in her hand.

Lucy smiled and nodded her head, gesturing towards the empty spot on the couch. Aisyah returned the smile before flopping down beside her mother. Lucy opened her arms and before she knew it, Aisyah settled onto her side; stretched out across the couch while leaning against her mother.

“Do you know when mama and mom are coming home?”

“They’re on their way home, right now,”

Her daughter sighed in relief and Lucy could feel the tension leaving her body. With an arm slung across Aisyah, Lucy started drawing soothing circles on her daughter’s right shoulder. She could feel the young girl melting further into her embrace and Lucy can’t help the warmth enveloping her being.

While the triad hadn’t actually planned to have any children, Aisyah was a surprise - a good one - to their lives. The middle eastern child, who was fourteen then, was found seeking refuge in one of the abandoned warehouses that was utilized by alien criminals. The girl, who refused to cry and be afraid as the DEO agents raided the facility, had stood tall and strong despite her petite and obviously malnourished state.

The girl had spoken in a tongue that was once so familiar to Lucy, but a little too foreign now. Upon hearing the confusion from the agents, Lucy had asked Supergirl to drop her to the site and found herself face to face with the teen. The director had spoken in broken Arabic, and even the girl had been confused with what Lucy was trying to convey.

But they managed. and Lucy was able to extract all the important information necessary from the fourteen-year-old child.

_“What is your name?”_

_“Aisyah”_

_“Where are your parents?”_

_“Dead” A sharp intake of breath, Lucy knelt down to bring herself to the child’s eye level. The director made sure that all authority in her voice was gone as she continued to converse with her._

_“How long have you been here?”_

_“Two years,”_

_“Why are you here?”_

_“They promised me food and shelter. They taught me English,”_

_Lucy breathed in deeply, turning around to find her girlfriends waiting patiently for her as the other agents had made their way back to base. Lucy turned back to the child - streaks of dirt all over her face and body, brown skin littered with scars and hypo-pigmented areas. Lack of footwear and clothes that looked like it’s seen better days._

_“My name is Lucy. I am here to help you,”_

_“That’s what they all said,” the girl replied, giving Lucy a stone-cold stare. Lucy felt shivers running up her spine at the iciness of the girl’s tone._

_“I promise you, Aisyah, I would not let another being hurt you anymore,”_

and that was the start of something new, something good, something perfect. (It wasn’t till 2 years later that her newly-adopted daughter confessed that the reason she had trusted Lucy then, was because the director was the first person to pronounce her name correctly ever since she entered America. Lucy had teared up and had confessed that she, too, had a similar heritage as her daughter, but had promptly ignored it to better fit society. )

Lucy had carried Aisyah in her arms and introduced the child to her girlfriends who had been nothing short of welcoming and kind and friendly. They brought the girl to the DEO’s med bay and once everything was cleared out, they brought her home.

“Umi!” Aisyah called out her name, promptly snapping Lucy out of her memory.

Lucy turned to her daughter and raised an eyebrow down at her.

“Mama and mom are home. Should we head downstairs?”

Lucy stared at her daughter with a warm smile, happiness, and pride swelling inside her at how far she’s come - how far they’ve come together.

“Let’s go. Let’s hope Mama decides to cook dinner, I can’t stand another takeout,” Lucy said, placing her bookmark back into her book, before dropping it down onto the table.

She reached out her hand to her daughter, who promptly clings onto her forearm, as they make their way downstairs from the makeshift library.

Alex greeted them first, hands reaching outward for a hug from their daughter, who squealed as the newly-promoted director lifted her off the ground and twirl her around the living room.

“Mom! Stop! I’m seventeen already,” Aisyah giggled, placing her head in her hands as Alex continued to smother her with kisses.

“Seventeen or not, you’re still my baby,”

“Hey, where’s my hug?” Maggie’s voice sounded from the kitchen.

Aisyah climbed down from her mother’s arms, poking out her tongue before skipping towards Maggie. Maggie let out an oof as Aisyah slammed her entire body and squeeze the detective hard.

“So what’s for dinner?”

Lucy smirked as she and Alex made their way to the kitchen; slowly setting the table as conversation flow freely through the family.

Lucy’s heart bloomed at the word.

Family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umi = mother in Arabic
> 
> yes i have a headcannon that Lucy has a Middle Eastern heritage. And as someone who used to learn Arabic (not fluent in it at all tho), I like this headcannon a lot heh.


	4. take me home where I belong

The phantom pain on her left elbow throbs. She clenched her jaw as the metal fingers curled into a fist. Soft, hazy blue lights emitted from the knuckles, taunting her of the new addition to her body.

_think of it as an.... upgrade._

Lucy gripped the hammer in her right hand tighter.

Flashes of lights and beeping sound that were too loud replayed in her mind. The echoes of her own scream piercing through her brain and Lucy could feel the left side of her brain pulsates in pain. People with surgical masks surround her, the sharp pierce of the needle into her veins.

sweat builds on her forehead.

the metal fingers relax and clenched repeatedly as Lucy raised the hammer over her head.

_indestructible. bulletproof._

_the perfect weapon._

She took a deep breath. and then, with a cry, she slams the hammer down onto her left arm - the metal clanking together at the hit. She raised her arm again, adding more force and power into her motion before striking down onto the back of the metal palm.

over and over and over again.

“Lucy!” but the voice went right over her head as Lucy kept on hitting the left arm - feeling nothing, nothing and nothing.

She slams it down again, the hammer bouncing but not a single dent on the artificial arm.

“Lucy, baby, stop. Please stop,” Alex’s voice cut through the fog in her brain.

Fingers curling around her wrist, the hammer being forced away from her hand. Lucy fought halfheartedly but let it go.

Her shoulders slumped forward in defeat, tears that she hadn’t realized was trailing down her cheeks dropped onto the workbench in front of her. Her eyes were red and her body remained almost catatonic under the state.

Someone placed her finger under chin, lifting her head up until she was staring right into Maggie’s eyes.

“Oh, baby,” Maggie breathed out before pulling her quick and hard into her arms.

the warmth embracing her body was a stark contrast to the coldness of her left arm. Lucy’s head fell onto the detective’s shoulder and she felt another pair of arms snake around her from the back.

“We got you, we got you,” Alex whispered in her ears, pressing a soft kiss to the back of the neck.

a sob threatened to break free but Lucy suppressed it; shaking her head as both Maggie and Alex continued to whisper reassurances in her ears. She tried to pull away, her body feeling utterly disgusting as the cold metal fingers sat heavily in Maggie’s hands.

_we’ll make the perfect soldier out of you, Major._

She couldn’t hold back the sob that tumbles out of her mouth like a dagger that pierces through her girlfriends’ heart. The arms around her tightened and Lucy buried her head further into Maggie’s chest.

“You’re not a monster, Lucy Lane. You never will be,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and leave kudos if you like it! I love reading them even though i take so long to reply to them but i do read them and i love when i see people leaving comments. 
> 
> also, i won't be doing smut. not my thing ha. 
> 
> but if there are any prompts, you can leave it in the comments too!


	5. burnt out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short fluff pieces.

  
she digs her palm into her eyeballs, pressing hard to keep a migraine from throbbing every few seconds. The soft music filtering through her headphones was the only background noise in the otherwise uncomfortably quiet library. Another sudden spike of pain shooting through the left side of her brain caused Alex to whimper softly under her breath.

it was already one in the morning and Alex is nothing but bone-deep exhausted. She’s mentally and physically drained but she still tries to force herself to study for the upcoming tests in eight hours time. It’s not that she was cramping everything last minute (no, she had started studying a few weeks in advanced) but she knows that if she doesn’t go through the materials one more time, everything would leave her brain before the tests even start.

While the words in front of her continue to get blurry, Alex still trudged on as she penned down the equations to the questions. Her brain hurts just from the slight movement and slight thinking but Alex knows that she can’t stop now. She doesn’t want to blank out in the middle of the test, doesn’t want to cause unnecessary panic during the tests.

But she also knows that her body is going to crash soon.

Alex chugged down the remaining of her cold coffee and pinched herself awake a little longer. She’s so drained. So so tired and exhausted, and unmotivated to try anymore. All she wants to do is crawl in her bed and sleep but seeing that she had screwed her body clock for the hell week, she knows that the only time she’ll actually enter into a slumber would be at four a.m.

She hates how tiring the semester had been and it’s only on week 5 of the term. Unlike her girlfriends, who had a lot more free time in their schedule, Alex found her body on auto-pilot, forcing herself to go through the 9am-6pm school hours with only an hour break in between.

While Alex loves what she is majoring in, she really truly despise the never-ending, brain twisting workload.

Alex had only realized that she’d been zoning out when a soft knock on the table made her jump in her seat. She looked up and found both of her girlfriends staring down at her with concern etched in their faces.

Alex sighed and began packing.

As soon as all the notes were in their respective folders and neatly shoved into her bag, Maggie reached for it and slung the bag over her own shoulders. Lucy had tugged Alex up into her side as the three girls stumbled out of the library at two in the morning. Alex groggily dragged her feet but still, most of her weight was leaning on Lucy. After tripping a few times, Lucy bends down her knees a little before hoisting Alex up into her arms in a bridal carry.

Alex was too out of it to protest that from happening. Instead, she curled her body further into Lucy and buried her face in her neck. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she inhaled Lucy’s comforting perfume. Within seconds, Alex found her eyelids flutter to shut and the world muted out as she fell into a short nap.

Lucy and Maggie shared a worried glance, eyes communicating easily without having to wake Alex with their voices. Their shared apartment complex was within walking distance from their university, and it wasn’t long till Maggie turned the key in the lock and Lucy gently placing Alex in her bed.

“I’m worried for her,” Maggie whispered as soon as Lucy joined her in the kitchen.

Both of them pattered around, cleaning and organizing the room before falling into the couch with hot mugs of tea in hand. Lucy laid her head on Maggie’s shoulder, her eyes flickering to the tv that was on low volume, but her mind was focusing on the sleeping occupant in the room across the hallway.

“She’s burnt out and this sem is way too tough for anyone,” Lucy said, occasionally sipping the cup of tea in her hand.

She felt Maggie slung her arm over her shoulder, felt her fingers trails soothing circles on the bare skin, in which her tee shirt had drooped down.

“After tomorrow, she doesn’t have any more upcoming tests until the next three weeks. We should go out for the weekend,” Maggie suggested.

Lucy nodded her head and tried to think of places they could go. She knew it might be difficult to convince Alex to step out of the apartment and stopped studying for a little while but given the right place and activity, she also knew Alex wouldn’t say no to spending the day with them.

Lucy realized that even though all three of them lives in the same apartment, albeit different room, she rarely sees Alex this semester.

“Is it weird that I sorta miss her?”

“I do too. We only see her either at night or in the morning. And our lunch hour never coincides with her,”

The two girls finished their last few sips of the tea before Maggie grabbed both mugs to wash. The apartment fell into a comfortable silence, with only the sound of running water and the clanking of ceramics into the cabinet.

“She mentioned that her lab work is taking up most her time, sometimes running into her lunch. I’m scared she’s not taking care of herself,” Maggie muttered, hands reaching out to Lucy.

“That’s why she has us,”

Lucy took the hands and allowed Maggie to pull her up. They both made their way down the hallway, stopping short as the reached Maggie’s room.

“We’ll figure this out once she’s done with her last tests of the week,”

Lucy nodded her head, leaning forward to press a soft kiss on Maggie’s lips.

“Goodnight, Mags,”

“’Night, Luce,”

Lucy made her way to her own room, stopping slightly in front of Alex’s and peeking in to make sure the girl was still asleep.

A small smile stretched her lips as she spots Alex sprawled across the bed, body in deep rest. Her heart aches a little knowing that Alex hadn’t had much time to sleep or even relax since their semester had started.

An idea popped into her head.

perhaps, a trip to the beach might be long overdue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you guys think! 
> 
> also, i'm so burnt out from my own studies that i just needed to write this to feel a little bit about myself. school has been so draining. ugh.


	6. apologies

A soft knock on the sliding door was met with silence and Maggie pushed the door open slowly, careful to not let the creaking noise startle the girl inside the room.

“Go away,” Aisyah mumbled, head hidden underneath the crooked of her elbow. Her knees were pulled into her chest while her hair had fallen to cover her face. But Maggie could see the tear-stained cheeks as clear as day.

She approached her daughter with her jaw clenched; the argument from earlier that day still fresh on her mind. She hadn’t meant to snap at Aisyah like that but she did. And she knew what she had said had been too harsh to the almost seventeen-year-old girl. A nudge from Alex had caused her to suck it up and lower her own ego to apologize to her daughter.

So there she was, lowering herself onto chair out at the balcony, by her daughter side.

A blanket of intense, uncomfortable and awkward silence tied itself around them, making them fidget and refuse to look at each other.

Maggie opened her mouth and closed them again and again. She took a deep breath before finally pushing the words out of her mouth, “I’m sorry,”

silence followed the apology.

Maggie would prefer if she had actually thought the apology through - word for word and construct sentences into perfect dialogues but everything that had come into her mind had fallen short. She was out of her depth, unsure on how to lay herself bare in front of her daughter that she hadn’t planned on having. (that she hadn’t regret having.)

Another deep breath and Maggie knew she has to be the one to explain herself first.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to snap at you like that,”

A sniffle was heard from the younger girl and Maggie saw the way Aisyah tried to discreetly wipe the tears that were falling.

“You scared me. A lot. You scare me every day actually. It’s like I’m this bundle of nerves that is always worrying about you, especially when I don’t have you in my sight,” Maggie started.

Aisyah shifted in her seat, resting her chin on her knees as she stared out into the sky.

“When they called and said that my daughter was in the holding cell, I panicked. Because all I could think of is if you were hurt or did somebody hurt you. When I found out it’s because of your own reck - your own actions, that panic turned into anger. I took it out on you and I’m sorry about that. I truly am,”

Maggie let her eyes closed and took deep breaths to calm herself down. She said her piece, explained her side of the story and she can only hope that the girl beside her doesn’t shut her out or starts hating her.

Maggie had always been the stricter parent out of the three of them, albeit, all of them are strict in their own way but Maggie was always making sure that Aisyah follows the law and stay out of trouble with authorities. Sometimes she feels that she’s the less liked parent, not as fun as Alex, or as lenient as Lucy.

But the three of them had raised the teen together, and Maggie is more than just attached to the younger girl. She’s her daughter, damn it and she’ll hate herself if her daughter starts hating her.

“I’m sorry too,” Aisyah muttered underneath her breath.

“I just wanted to have fun and fit in. Everyone was drinking and smoking and I thought - it was nice. It wasn’t - I never meant for it to get that far. I’m sorry,” Aisyah turned to face her, body uncurling itself and Maggie couldn’t resist the urge to wipe the tears on her cheeks away.

With thumbs softly caressing her daughter’s cheek, Maggie shifted closer to the girl, “Can I hug you?”

She hadn’t expected Aisyah to throw herself straight into Maggie’s body - the detective nearly losing her balance at the force of it. Maggie tightened her hold of the girl in her arms, pressing soft kissed on the top of Aisyah’s forehead and rocking the two of them back and forth.

“I’m sorry I disappointed you. I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of your colleagues and officers,” Aisyah mumbled as she pressed her face into Maggie’s collarbone.

A pang of hurt shot through Maggie’s chest at the girl’s apology.

“Oh, baby. no no. You didn’t embarrass me. Yes, I was disappointed but I will never ever be embarrassed of you, you hear me?”

“But I - now they’ll think that your kid is -”

“I don’t care what they think. And if they have something to say about you, I can fire them as easily as I want to. But those things don’t matter. What matter is you. I was worried that you went out of control and hurt yourself,”

“I’m sorry, Mama,”

Maggie tightened her embrace of the younger girl. She could feel her daughter hiding her face in her neck and Maggie stroked her hair gently. Their bodies rocked gently on the steps, and it wasn’t till the sun starts to set when the tension finally uncoils itself from their bodies.

“I love you. You’re my daughter. I’ll always love you no matter what okay?” Maggie said firmly.

“I love you too,” 


	7. i'm sorry i'm here again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst ahead. thread carefully. 
> 
> this took a lot of my own emotions into it.

She woke up with a throbbing headache, flinching as the light hit her eyes. A quick glance around the apartment, and Alex felt heart dropped as the memories of last night hit her hard. 

there were empty beer bottles scattered across the floor -

“oh god, what have I done?” her voice trembled.

\- drinks spilled on her newly bought carpet -

Her heart raced and tears sprang into her eyes as she pushed herself up and off the couch.

\- and burnt end of cigarettes all over her coffee table.

“no no no,”

Her hands tugged at her hair tightly as she moved away from the offending scene. Her stomach coiled as the tears spill over, her breathing turning into pants and she clutched onto the door to her bedroom.

She wiped her nose using the sleeves of her shirt, only to rebuke at the smell of smoke and tobacco all over her.

Gagging, she rushed to the toilet, puking out any contents of her empty stomach.

The tears flowed freely from her eyes while her head continues to pound.

_Fuck._

_She lost control last night._

_Fuck._

Alex gagged more at the thought, contents lurching out of her throat at the memory of what she had done. She wiped her mouth, flushed down the toilet and tried to wash her face despite her shaky hands. A quick strip of her clothes and she’s in the shower - extremely cold water hitting her body and freezing her from head to toe, trying to numb everything that she’s feeling, trying to make it stop

but shame, disgust, and guilt overwhelmed her, consuming her from inside out and Alex had to steady herself by placing a hand on the walls of the bathroom as her knees gave way from all the shaking.

Fuck.

She can’t believe she lost control.

Fuck.

-

She cleaned her apartment vigorously - discarding all the bottles and cigarettes, harshly scrubbing her carpet to get rid of all the stains. Sweats collected on her forehead as she didn’t stop after getting rid of what was left behind from last night.

The stench of alcohol and smoke still stick to everything and Alex can’t stop herself from cleaning out the entire apartment - from the kitchen to her bookshelves, from the windows to her balcony - till everything was sparkling clean and her apartment felt of nothing like a mistake.

Her body shakes, her hands tremble and itches to find something else to clean.

Nails dug into palm as she headed back to the kitchen and open the cabinet that held all her secret stash of things she shouldn’t be having in her apartment.

things she promised she’ll never have in the apartment.

her throat locked and her heart beats fast in her chest as she took the items out one by one, placing everything on the counter. Her other hand absentmindedly reached for the black trash bag.

_Throw it._

Alex reached for a bottle but her trembling fingers refuse to have a proper hold on it.

a hesitation.

_it’ll be waste to throw an expensive scotch._

Alex gulped and shook her head. With a deep breath, she tried again. She pulled the bottle over the trash bag

and paused.

_Throw it._

_What if you need it?_

_Throw it._

_You might need it._

_Throw it, Alex._

_Do you really think you can survive without it?_

Too caught up in her own mind, Alex didn’t hear the sound of the door opening.

She tightened her fingers on the neck of the bottle, closing her eyes and let it drop from her fingers and into the bag. The slight thump of the full bottle caused shivers to run up her spine. Alex reached out for the next one.

_that’s a gift. It’ll be rude to throw it away._

_if you keep it, you’ll lose control like yesterday._

_you need it to be in control anyway_

A sudden hand to her shoulder caused Alex to startle, jumping as she loses the grip on the bottle and it fell into the trash bag like the previous one.

“Alex?” Maggie’s voice was a whisper, her eyes studying what Alex had been staring at.

Sharing a confused glance with Lucy, they watched their girlfriend remain stoic and almost catatonic in front of all the alcohol bottles and -

“you smoke?” Maggie asked, her voice a high pitch in disbelief as she tried to piece the puzzle together.

Lucy laid a reassuring hand on the detective’s forearm and Maggie forced herself to calm down. Her jaw clenched as Lucy squeezed her gently.

Alex was supposed to be in sobriety, they were going to celebrate her being sober for 6 months. It doesn’t make sense that she has that much alcohol now, not when they’ve thrown it all away before. And the cigarette box? Since when -

Another squeeze from Lucy brought Maggie back to what was happening. 

“Baby? Can you look at us, love?” Lucy spoke as she placed a tentative hand on Alex.

it was then that Maggie realized Alex had been staring at the floor, head downcast in shame and guilt while her entire body trembled before her girlfriends.

It took a moment before Alex finally lift her head up to meet Lucy’s while evidently avoiding Maggie’s eyes.

Alex dropped the bag in her hand before crossing her arms over her stomach. She took a step back but her body hits the counter and she trembles worse than before.

“I-i’m sorry,” Alex’s voice wavered.

Tears welled up in her eyes and as Lucy took another step forward, Alex broke down fully, shaking her head as her body shook from her cries.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,”

Maggie breathed out a little too harshly, closing her eyes as the revelation hit her.

She turned away, and Alex cried harder.

Lucy’s arms wrapped around her crying girlfriend, pulling her into her embrace and trying to soothe Alex. But all Alex feels is the shame and guilt and regret and

oh god, what has she done?

-

All three of them sat on the couch in tense silence. Alex’s cries had died down to the occasional sniffs as she curls into herself as small as she possibly could. Lucy sat in between, and while she herself was upset, it couldn’t rival the clear anger Maggie was radiating.

Maggie stared into the air, body stiff and straight as her mind worked a mile a minute to figure out how the hell did Alex lose control last night.

Why hadn’t she called them? Why hadn’t she called _her_?

“Alex, can you tell us what happened?”

A sharp intake of breath and Alex wanted to shake her head, wanted to tell them to go away because she’s afraid.

She’s afraid of their reactions.

She’s afraid they’re going to leave.

Because heck, she’s so disgusted with herself, she won’t be surprised if they’re already disgusted with her.

Alex choked on a sob and it took every willpower in her to force the words out of her mouth.

with a small voice, she said, “I-i lost control last night,”

Maggie scoffed but a sharp glare from Lucy shut her up.

Maggie doesn’t know why she’s pissed, but she is. She’s so pissed she could just walk out and - no. no this isn’t about her. This is about Alex and the girl is clearly already too afraid to tell the truth, and Maggie is only making it worse.

“can you tell us why?” she let Lucy do the talking because she doesn’t trust her own voice right now.

Maggie turned her body to face her girlfriend, her heart breaking as Alex tried to hide her head in the crooks of her elbow.

“Alex, please”

there was silence, and then,

“I-i don’t know. Everything was going wrong and I was just so angry and frustrated over everything. My-my mind was so loud and I just wanted to quieten it down,”

with a sob, she added,

“I just wanted to quieten it down,”

Lucy stared at the ceiling as she tried to comprehend what Alex had just said. She felt Maggie shifting from beside her and before she knows it, the detective was kneeling down in front of Alex.

“Why didn’t you call us?”

Alex shook her head and shrug repeatedly and the action was a stabbed into Lucy’s heart.

Lucy reached out to push Alex’s hair behind her ears, wiping the tears with her thumb as she pulled Alex into her. Maggie squeezed herself onto the couch, between Alex and the arm, before enveloping Alex with her own body.

“We love you, Alex Danvers. We’ll figure it out, I promise,” Lucy whispered reassuringly, clutching Alex’s head close to her chest.

“Please don’t leave me,”

Both her girlfriends flinched as the words cut deep into their chest. Seeing the ever so strong Alex Danvers crying and being so vulnerable, broke their hearts in a way they never thought it was possible.

“Oh baby, we won’t. We’re here, baby, we love you so much,”

-

It was well into the night before any of them could enter the kitchen to face the remnants of last night. Alex had fallen asleep soon after all the crying had depleted her energy and both Maggie and Lucy had been discussing on what to do.

But still, a question remained at the forefront of Maggie’s mind.

The three of them made their way to the kitchen, Lucy handing Alex the trash bag while Maggie cautiously picked up the cigarette box. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Alex shuddered and Maggie bit her tongue before her smart mouth would ask the question.

but it seems like Alex could read her mind.

“the last time I did it, I was in my second-last year of college. It’s been about five years now,”

and while Alex tried to act strong and brave, Maggie knows her girlfriend is breaking inside.

Maggie wordlessly passed the box to her and Alex swiftly drop it down into the trash bag without giving herself time to think. She did the same thing to the bottles in front of her and it wasn’t till the last one, Alex found herself hesitating again.

_Don’t throw it away._

Both Lucy and Maggie closed the gap between them and Alex falls back into their sturdy body. Maggie pressed a reassuring kiss on her temple while Lucy rubbed her back reassuringly.

_You can’t throw it away_

Alex closed her eyes and tried to will the voice away.

_You need it._

With a release of her breath, Alex throws it away.

_You’ll regret it._

“I’m so proud of you,” Lucy whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Alex’s mouth.

Alex grimaced but nodded her head, tying the trash bag and placing it close to the door.

“Why don’t you rest, baby. I’ll bring it to the bin downstairs while you and Lucy can start a movie,”

and Alex wanted to reject the offer, wanted to prove that she can do it, that she can make it all the way, that she’s strong enough to let it go. But a soft tug from Lucy was enough to make Alex nod her head.

“I love you, Alex,” Maggie said, pressing a soft chaste kiss on her lips.

“Even when -”

Lucy stopped her by giving Alex a kiss on the lips as well.

“Always,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Please comment your thoughts on it. (could really use some reassurance rn haha)


	8. cats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited. all mistakes are mine. hope you guys enjoy this!

Thunder roared above her as Alex quickened her pace down the street. The rain poured down heavily and harshly, lightning striking a few distance away. Alex pushed away her soaked hair from her face, tugging her jacket tighter to her body and pushing her hands in her pocket.

Her ears perked up as she turned a corner, concerning sounds gaining her attention. She stepped closer to the corner, eyes widened as she heard the distress sounds of cats wailing. 

Her head swiveled around, trying to find the source of the noise. She took a few slow steps to her right, hearing the cries getting louder and louder. Alex knelt by the roadside, body bending till she’s looking into the drain.

“Oh dear,” Alex gasped, finding three small, soaked, kittens helplessly trying to stay afloat against the fast-filling drain.

Reaching out her hand, Alex slowly pulled out each kitten one by one, cooing and whispering comforting words in their ears. The kittens were shivering and Alex quickly pulled out her leather jacket and wrapped it around all of them.

“I can’t leave you here,” Alex muttered, heart melting at the sight of the kittens relaxing in the jacket. 

She picked up the kittens, cradled them in her arms before continuing her journey back home. She made sure the jacket covered the kittens from the downpour and clutched them close to her body to give them a semblance of warmth.

“Let’s hope Maggie and Lucy will be okay with this,”

-

Alex knocked on the door with her foot, shivering in the hallway as the cold starts to creep in. Her teeth chattered and Alex shifted from one foot to another to create some energy to keep her and the kittens warm.

The door swung open, revealing a concerned Maggie.

“Oh my god, you’re drenched,” the detective said as she pulled Alex by the arms into the apartment.

Alex grimaced but stayed rooted in the hallway of her home while clutching the jacket closer to her body. Lucy came out with a dry and warm towel in hand but Alex didn’t drop her jacket in favor of taking the towel.

“Alex?” Maggie tilted her head, eyes raising at the jacket.

As if on cue, the three kittens started purring underneath her jacket.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You’re safe now. I promise,” Alex muttered softly.

She placed the jacket on the kitchen counter, unfolding it and letting the kittens curiously poke their head out. She grabbed the towel and started gently rubbing them down, warming them up and calming them down.

“What happened?” Lucy asked, taking over the towel duty as Maggie hurried to grab another towel for Alex.

Alex peeled off her own shirt and pants, letting Maggie wrapped the towel around her body. Maggie pulled her close to the fireplace, throwing her fresh pair of clothes and underwear.

“They were drowning in the drain. I had to save them,” Alex mumbled.

She relaxed and melted as she feels the warmth of the fire all over her skin. Feeling her muscles less tense and stiff, Alex finally peeled out all her wet clothes to put on the fresh ones.

Lucy came over with the three kittens bundled up in towels and sat beside Alex in front of the fireplace.

Alex held out her hand and one of the kittens jumped into them, purring as the kitten nudged its head on Alex’s neck.

Maggie put on some soft music in the background, bringing out water and food to the coffee table and placing all the wet items in the washing machine. She joined her girlfriends once that was settled, sandwiching Alex between her and Lucy.

Lucy passed one of the two kittens in her hold and Maggie cradled them close to her chest.

it was a moment of silence before -

“We’re crazy, aren’t we,” Lucy piped up. The kitten in her hand purred before burrowing deeper into her arms.

“We have to talk and figure it out but I think this will work,” Maggie replied.

“Yeah? All three of them?” Alex couldn’t help but ask.

“All three of them,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this was how I found all 3 cats of mine. It's not as easy to take care of 3 new pets all by my own but it's worth it.


	9. formal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: formal wear / event

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't written in a while so i'm a little rusty. any mistakes are mine. hope you enjoy this short fluff.

her palms were sweaty, nerves wrecking her body as she rocked on the heel of her feet in front of the door. she wiped her hands on her pantsuit, the bouquet of flowers shifting from one hand to another.

huffing her breath, alex straightened her blazer and braced herself.

she knocked once. figuring it was too soft and too light, she knocked another time for good measure.

“coming!”

alex forced herself to take deep breaths as she waited. her heart was thudding loudly against her rib cage and the butterflies in her stomach seem to be having a wild time. there’s a tiny part of her that wants to run but all that thought flew off when the door opened, revealing lucy clad in an elegant navy dress.

alex’s jaw dropped as her eyes wandered, taking in the beauty that was in front of her.

“wow. you-you look gorgeous,” alex breathed out.

lucy chuckled and opened the door wider.

“thank you. you clean up nice too,”

a hint of red tinged alex’s cheek. “for you and maggie,” she said as she held out the bouquet in her hand.

this time, lucy blushed.

at the exact same time, maggie walked out and alex lose her breath at the sight of her in a white lace dress.

“damn,”

“right?”

maggie pressed her lips together, amused at the look on both alex and lucy’s faces. she made her way towards them, dimples deepening as she noticed the flowers and alex had to brace herself on the nearby wall to keep herself standing.

“you look beautiful,”

maggie pressed a small kiss on alex’s cheek at the compliment. “thank you. you look dashing,”

alex’s phone buzzed in her back pocket. forcing her eyes away from the two beautiful women, alex looked down on her phone.

“our ride’s here. are we ready?”

lucy glanced one more time in the mirror, touching up her hair before nodding her head. alex reached out both her hands, lucy taking one while maggie, the other.

“shall we?” alex asked with chivalry.

“we shall,”

-

they arrived at the gala a little later than the stated time of arrival. alex’s eyes scanned the room, searching for the familiar faces of her sister and best friend. she spotted them across the ballroom and sighed warmly as she spotted kara stacking her plate with food from the buffet.

“hey, um can i introduce you to my sister and best friend?” she asked nervously.

lucy and maggie nodded their head, following alex lead as they weaved through the crowd.

“alex!” kara exclaimed when she spotted her sister.

lena turned around at the exclamation, eyes twinkling with mischief as she eyes the two women beside alex.

alex cleared her throat, slipping her hands with maggie’s as she feels lucy’s palm on her back.

“this is lucy and maggie. my - um - my girlfriends,”

kara and lena’s smiles widened. cocking their eyebrows in sync, they turn towards lucy and maggie. alex gulped at the look on their faces, knowing that nothing good might come out of it.

“care to dance?” lena asked, reaching out towards maggie.

maggie spluttered, bashful under the CEO’s gaze. Alex’s brows furrowed.

“what are you doing?”

lena rolled her eyes as she dragged maggie to the dance floor. Following lena’s lead, kara pulled lucy along too, a cheeky smile gracing her face.

“are you stealing my girlfriends?”

“don’t be silly, Alex. we’re just going to have a talk,”

alex balked. her eyes widened, knowing the implications of said talk.

lucy pressed a soft kiss on alex’s lips as she passed her. “Don’t worry,”

maggie winked at her from the middle of the room. alex sighed and leaned against the bar.

“would you like a drink, ma’am?”

“yes please,”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to send any prompt requests to my Tumblr: the-girl-at-the-back or just comment below! I'll try to write them as much as I can!
> 
> Also, do tell your opinion on each chapter, I love reading them!


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